Connection ·

We expect deep conversations to be awkward. They are not.

What they found

People expected a deep conversation with a stranger to be much more awkward than it turned out, and felt closer and happier than predicted.

How they know

Twelve experiments, over 1,800 people: students, executives, park visitors. In many, strangers were assigned small talk or deep talk (a time they cried in front of someone), guessed how it would feel, then rated it. People given both expected to prefer small talk and, on average, mildly preferred deep talk.

What it means for you

Someone new likely cares more about your answer than you assume. Try one question deeper than feels safe.

The limits

Everyone knew it was a study, so nobody risked rejection. One short talk, self-rated, one research team, mostly US samples. Deep talk sometimes felt more awkward than small talk.

This is a short takeaway in our own words, not a reproduction of the study. For the method, the sample and the caveats, read the original. Mind lives inside the Booking Minds app under the brain icon, where you can save and share each piece.

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