Connection ·

Reaching out is appreciated more than you expect

What they found

People underestimate how much someone they lost touch with appreciates hearing from them. In imagined scenarios the gap was larger for acquaintances than close ties, and vanished when contact was expected.

How they know

13 preregistered studies, about 5,900 people, mostly American. In three, students wrote real notes, some with a snack voucher, to classmates they had drifted from. With a note alone (54 pairs), senders guessed 5.6 out of 7 - receivers said 6.2.

What it means for you

You probably underestimate how a hello lands. Send the two lines.

The limits

Small to medium self-reported gaps; senders already expected warmth. Friendly ties only, not after a falling out. Mostly imagined scenarios; with the note alone, 54 of 100 receivers answered. Knowing about the bias did not reliably prompt reaching out.

This is a short takeaway in our own words, not a reproduction of the study. For the method, the sample and the caveats, read the original. Mind lives inside the Booking Minds app under the brain icon, where you can save and share each piece.

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